I undertook some First Aid training
yesterday – it's certainly beneficial for working in a school but
I've dodged the training bullet for years. However, I am now a fully
fledged First Aider. It doesn't mean I'm qualified to make any
diagnosis on a sick or injured person; it merely means I have some
knowledge to know how to respond to an incident in the first instance
whilst waiting for the professionals to arrive.
And [predictably tenuously] that's how
cancer is. I can cook for the patient, I can manage the medication
and can offer interim suggestions and support in-between visits to
the pros. In all honesty, it doesn't feel enough. There are days when
I can't take Man's pain away, there are times when I can only watch
the frustration and listen to his exasperation. It's maddening that,
despite our well-intentioned positive outlook, the beast still takes
over.
Unfortunately not only Man suffers but
so do people around us. My son, Man's stepson, flunked his second
year at uni. He's either got to do the whole thing again or try to
wing it on his own. A third option is to appeal against the single
mark that kept him from progressing onto Yr 3. But what would the
mitigating circumstances be? What extreme circumstances might have
affected our bright, intelligent son to have scored so
disappointingly? And you know what, with Man's permission, we played
the C-card. There wasn't much soul searching about it, indeed, it's
got us thinking about how a cancer diagnosis impacts on everyone
around us. One of Man's best friends makes no secret about how much
he misses riding with him (Courgette King!), my oldest, best mucker
chokes up when she reads the blog, his parents send food and probably
feel helpless that they can't do more, as do his own children. But in
this house the affects are keenly felt and my children are the ones
who hear the pain and
frustration, see me upset and feel how life is not always fair or on
course as we had originally navigated.
And so, Man wrote a
statement in support of the exam result appeal, citing 'concern that
the emotional effect of my illness on the family, together with the
demands of additional physical chores, has had a detrimental effect
on E's ability to perform at the level we would have all hoped...'
It's not lost on us
that many people are unable to continue with life as they'd wished.
We constantly stick plasters over the cuts and try and stem the
bleeding but, ultimately, it's the professionals who will make the
life-changing decisions. Hang in there please folks, life as we know
it WILL resume as soon as is humanely possible.
