Plaster

I undertook some First Aid training yesterday – it's certainly beneficial for working in a school but I've dodged the training bullet for years. However, I am now a fully fledged First Aider. It doesn't mean I'm qualified to make any diagnosis on a sick or injured person; it merely means I have some knowledge to know how to respond to an incident in the first instance whilst waiting for the professionals to arrive.

And [predictably tenuously] that's how cancer is. I can cook for the patient, I can manage the medication and can offer interim suggestions and support in-between visits to the pros. In all honesty, it doesn't feel enough. There are days when I can't take Man's pain away, there are times when I can only watch the frustration and listen to his exasperation. It's maddening that, despite our well-intentioned positive outlook, the beast still takes over.

Unfortunately not only Man suffers but so do people around us. My son, Man's stepson, flunked his second year at uni. He's either got to do the whole thing again or try to wing it on his own. A third option is to appeal against the single mark that kept him from progressing onto Yr 3. But what would the mitigating circumstances be? What extreme circumstances might have affected our bright, intelligent son to have scored so disappointingly? And you know what, with Man's permission, we played the C-card. There wasn't much soul searching about it, indeed, it's got us thinking about how a cancer diagnosis impacts on everyone around us. One of Man's best friends makes no secret about how much he misses riding with him (Courgette King!), my oldest, best mucker chokes up when she reads the blog, his parents send food and probably feel helpless that they can't do more, as do his own children. But in this house the affects are keenly felt and my children are the ones who hear the pain and frustration, see me upset and feel how life is not always fair or on course as we had originally navigated.

And so, Man wrote a statement in support of the exam result appeal, citing 'concern that the emotional effect of my illness on the family, together with the demands of additional physical chores, has had a detrimental effect on E's ability to perform at the level we would have all hoped...'

It's not lost on us that many people are unable to continue with life as they'd wished. We constantly stick plasters over the cuts and try and stem the bleeding but, ultimately, it's the professionals who will make the life-changing decisions. Hang in there please folks, life as we know it WILL resume as soon as is humanely possible.